No matter how difficult a situation, just maintain a positive attitude, ok? - WELL, NO. SOMETIMES IT GETS OVERBEARING AND LEADS US TO REJECT DIFFICULT EMOTIONS AND PROCESS THEM INCORRECTLY.
You can’t tell I’m salty about this, right?
When did we become a generation so focused on pretending ‘everything is okay’ It’s great to take life’s curveballs in your stride, but why are we not allowed more than a few moments to address painful emotions, difficult situations or prolonged stressful experiences? The feelings and emotions that come with it, are unpleasant and often take a lot of navigating to get through, but sadly we’ve romanticised positivity. While it’s great to be optimistic and there are profound benefits to engaging in positive thinking, why does it feel forced so many times?
I’m guilty of this - dismissing my emotions, feeling guilty for experiencing negative emotions and oh I am even very much guilty of minimising others negative experiences too. From time to time I’ve been made to feel like I bring negativity to the table by people that understand and recognise my situation as well as by people that do not - the quintessential response - ‘just smile, crying won’t help’ or ‘being negative won’t help you’ And of course, instead of knowing better, I’ve allowed myself to do this to other people too, until you reach a point that you are numb and that incites some deep reflection…
hello thoughts on ‘toxic positivity’
Was I being subjected to it? roped into that culture? subjecting others to it knowingly and unknowingly?
Have we been conditioned to look for something positive in every situation? while a good habit to have, is it possible that we may have taken it a tad bit too far?
Well, in an honest effort to course correct, here’s my public apology and promise to people I’ve done this too:
I’m sorry I wasn’t understanding and denied you the opportunity to be open and help you deal with your emotions more honestly.
I’m sorry I was consumed with my own events and emotions that I refused to take a moment to stop being so selfish
I’m sorry I didn’t listen as much as I should have
I’m sorry if I created an environment that projected, it wasn’t okay to feel more than one thing towards a situation, individual or circumstance
I’m sorry if I dismissed your realistic approach
I’ve been a part of the ‘good vibes only’ culture and it’s a pretty crappy place to be. It actively encourages us to fake mental wellness and stop seeking the help we need.
But hey, it did teach me what I shouldn’t be, and that’s a lesson I wouldn’t have picked up, unless I fell into that pit. Half glad I did, cause climbing out of there, helped me course correct.
I’m a strong believer that our society has become a bit obsessed with speaking positively and kind of/sort of afraid of speaking truthfully.
Well, the truth may be a little less pleasant, but it’s a start - so here’s to swimming across that sea of toxic positively, safely to the shores of realistic and genuine optimism.
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