Casually expressing a few things we need to normalize about this. (in my humble opinion)
big call out - we need to normalize making new friends as adults because Sherry or Shawn from sixth grade ain't always it. โฃ
๐๐ช๐ด๐ค๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ: ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐จ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต, ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฐ๐ญ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ.
We outgrow friendships.
It happens.
We need to do a better job at normalising it.
We can outgrow nineteen year old friendships and two year old friendships all the same. Of course the intensity with which you go to battle with yourself over this varies and understandably so. Weโve been constantly fed with the notion of โchildhood friendsโ โbest friendsโ โforever friendsโ and the whole advertising/media industry makes tons of dollars on these very concepts.
But a lot of us are outgrowing friendships and no oneโs really talking about it or taking a quick second to acknowledge it.
If asked we ourselves brush it of as - he was an as*, she was a b*t*h or their crazy, or the infamous - โI donโt know what happenedโ
NO, we almost always know! We just donโt take the time to process it and learn from it.
Iโve outgrown a few friendships and have had a handful of people outgrow a friendship with me. 2020 - 2021 and all of itโs 6754 lockdowns gave me time to think and no, I do not have any stellar points to make here, I think this serving of lemonade is just trying to normalize the fact that this happens.
Normalize outgrowing a friendship but not hating the person
Normalize not hanging on just because youโve been friends for a while
Normalize letting go AFTER having really tried
Normalize respecting peopleโs boundaries when they donโt want to talk about it
Normalize taking time to heal from this
Normalize moving on
Normalize putting yourself first
Normalize that priorities and pace both change with time
When you evolve and create new values for yourself that serve the phase of life youโre in, you tend to take up new hobbies, adopt a new-ish lifestyle and you realize, you are inevitably seeing a few friendships substantially less and vice versa. This is not a reflection of their character or yours, more often than not its just circumstances, situations, lifeโs curveballsโฆ
None of this should negate the good times weโve had in those friendships though.
We so easily let our current feelings or circumstances ellipse the good times. Iโm sure as hell guilty of this. Those were genuine and must stay that way. They were friendships that served their purpose at a time in your life when you most needed it. It was genuine then. Respect that.
I think, a good start to normalising this is to always remember that friend in the best light, respect them and low-key check them out on social media every once in the while.
[Cue to play - *Now Your Just Somebody That I Used To Know*]
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